Hurt
by Carrot23
Summary: This story takes place after the finale of season 4. It's all about Abby and David. If you don't ship 'em, then don't read this. Second chapter now up. Spoiler alert: everything up to the finale of season 4. Rating: NC-17. All Scandal characters belong to Shonda Rhimes. I am not making any money by writing this.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long day. David leaned his head against the elevator wall and let out a deep sigh. He had caught himself doing that more and more often lately. He was tired and angry on most days. He had little patience for human error, as his aides had come to realize lately. He closed his eyes for a moment and Abby's face appeared. Her brilliant red hair. Her laughter echoing in the bedroom. The feel of her skin against his. Gods he missed her. He had worked very hard in the past few weeks to push her away from his thoughts. He had been downright rude to her a few times in private. He now ignored her whenever he could. He didn't look at her unless he had to.

And it was working. He could see the hurt in her eyes and the questions that he could not answer. He didn't want to push her away, but he knew that if he didn't, then people like Cyrus would always hold the upper hand. Cyrus and his cronies had now seen that if they threatened Abby, he would do anything to keep her out of harm's way. He was so in love with her still that it hurt.

He got out of the elevator. For a split second he thought he could smell Abby's perfume in the air, but he pushed that thought away as wishful thinking. He jiggled the key in the lock and let himself into his apartment. A long while back when they had still been together, he had been so excited and happy to come home at the end of every day. Home to Abby. Now he dreaded coming home because there was nothing but an empty apartment waiting for him at the end of a long work day. On most days he dallied at the office, trying to find more things to do just so that he would not need to face the empty apartment and loneliness that waited for him. He let out another sigh and set his suitcase on the floor.

"David…"

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard Abby's voice behind him.

"Jesus Abby! What the hell? How did you get in here? No never mind, I don't even want to know" David couldn't control himself and the anger poured out in the form of the words.

"I still have a key. Remember?" Abby explained, looking at him with pain filled eyes. "I want to know what is going on with you."

David didn't reply. He didn't want to have this conversation now. No, scratch that. He didn't ever want to have this conversation. What if someone had seen her come in? All his work of trying to push her away had been in vain if someone had seen them and thought they were still together. Cyrus and his buddies would tighten their hold on him and force him to work for them. Abby's presence here was affirmation to them that they could use her to coerce him to do whatever they wanted. He didn't even want to look at her.

"I don't know what you want from me Abby. But I'm not willing to give it to you. Not tonight, not ever." He said in a stoic voice.

"Leo and I have been over for a few months now. Almost three to be exact, David." Abby said reaching for his cheek.

"What is that to me Abby? You made it clear to me that you don't want to be in a relationship with me any more." He was being rude. He wanted to pull her against his body and never let go, but at the same time he wanted to hurt her with her words so that she'd stay away from him so that he could keep her safe. God forbid if something happened to her… he could not bear the thought of losing her even if they were not together anymore.

"David… these past few weeks you have been so distant. I can see that something is wrong." Abby tried again, now touching his cheek gently.

"Just leave me be Abby." David would still not meet her eye, although her soft hand was now caressing his cheek, beginning him to meet her eyes.

"David, you are a good man. Tell me…" Abby's voice broke. She was so worried about him. Whatever had happened between them, she had never seen him behave towards her like this. Even during the Cytron fiasco he had been more civil towards her in public than what he was now. Abby could see that something was wrong, and horribly so.

"I can't Abby… I just can't" He finally looked at her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. She had never looked as beautiful to him as she did at that moment in the dim apartment.

"David… I miss you so much, and I can see that something is wrong. Please… just tell me what is going on" Abby whispered in a broken voice.

"No Abby, I'm not going to tell you. In fact, I think it's better if you leave now" He said in a tight voice. Images of Abby in a car accident flashed into his mind. He cursed Cyrus in his mind for holding this power over him, for being able to push them apart.

"David… I want to know what is wrong"

"Nothing is wrong. Just go. Please"

"No David, not before you tell me what is wrong. I can see that there is something going on with you."

David didn't want to argue. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want a crying Abby in his apartment. What he wanted was to drink himself into oblivion so that he didn't need to toss and turn all night wondering what he would be forced to do next in order to keep the love of his life alive. At least he now knew that Abby was no longer with Leo. That was at least something. It was only a matter of time before someone else snatched her off the free market, but at least for now she was not involved with anyone else.

Walking around Abby into the living room David reached for the whisky bottle that he kept on his bookshelf. He grabbed two glasses and poured generously. Without saying a word to Abby he sat on the couch and let the fire of the whisky burn his throat. In a moment, Abby was right there, next to him. Again she was caressing his cheek and the back of his neck, not saying anything. He wanted her to leave, and even more he wanted her to stay. The harder he pushed her away, the harder she resisted and kept coming back. Loving her this much hurt. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He wanted the joy, the laughter and the love that she brought into his life more than he wanted air at that moment. He gulped down more whisky. His hands were starting to feel warm now. He hadn't had lunch, and drinking whisky was probably not the smartest idea right now, but he needed the emotional numbness.

Sitting in silence, Abby was caressing David's hair, cheek and the back of his neck with infinite tenderness. She was so worried about him. She could see that he was battling with himself in his mind. She wanted to break through those walls that he had built around himself. She had no idea why David had turned so cold towards her lately. Not looking at her, not smiling, not talking to her and the few times she had tried to confront him about it privately he had asked her to leave his office. It was like he was trying to push her away, as far as he could.

"David…" she started hesitantly and sipped the whisky again.

"David I can see that something is wrong. Please tell me what it is so that I can help you" she started hesitantly.

He didn't answer, just poured himself another glassful of whisky. He was downing it pretty damn fast. She could see that he was struggling with something.

"Please David…" she kept touching his cheek.

"Abby. I think you should go" he said quietly without meeting her eyes again. The force was gone from his voice.

"Not before you tell me why it is that you are trying to push me away so hard" tears threatened to spill again.

" I can't. I won't. That is the only answer you will get from me Abby. Now go"

"No David. I need to know what is wrong. Look at me." and when he did, she could see that he didn't actually want her to go. His mouth was telling her to leave, but his eyes were telling her that he was in pain. She did the only thing she could think of to break down the walls he had put up. She pushed up against him and softly kissed his mouth.

"Goddamit Abby!" he was angry now, so he stood up to put some physical distance between them. Gods she knew how to push his buttons.

"David you don't want me to leave" Abby said, and with that he reached for him again. Her hands were around his neck, and her tongue was stroking his lips and then he was meeting her with equal force. He was like a drowning man who had been another chance to life. His hands were everywhere and nowhere at once and tears were streaming down Abby's face. Tears of joy, because whatever else this was, at least he was no longer indifferent to her. Their tongues clashed. He pushed her dress up to her hips and pulled her against him hard. She could feel his hardness and suddenly nothing else mattered to her but feeling him inside of her.

"David, please. I want…" but the rest of Abby's words were cut off by another kiss.

She unbuttoned his shirt, tossed it over the back of the couch. She opened his belt and threw it on the couch as well, while his hand was stroking her clit though her panties. He could feel the wetness through the fabric and he knew then that they would not make it to the bedroom. He wanted Abby right there and he could not wait any longer.

"God David… I need you so badly…" Abby whispered with her forehead touching his.

"And I need you" he whispered back, making her lie down on her back on the couch. Somehow her panties were gone, and the whisky was making his head spin a bit and then he was inside of her and nothing else mattered. Abby's legs were wrapped around him and she was urging him along and panting hard, making little sounds. The world exploded for Abby and with the final contractions of her climax he came inside of her so hard he thought he would pass out. He slumped against her then, and just held her close letting his breathing get back to normal. God he had missed her so much.

"David?" he heard the tears in her voice. Without thinking he kissed her tenderly, pouring every ounce of love he felt for Abby into the kiss. Then he pulled her up gently and steered them both towards the bedroom. His head was definitely spinning now and the whisky was warming him all over. It had truly not been a good idea to drink so much on an empty stomach. He took out fresh towels for them and gently pushed Abby into the shower without speaking. The warm water and steam was all over them while he washed Abby's beautiful body with soap. His hands were everywhere on her body and she was a quivering mass of sexual energy when they finally stepped out of the shower, only to repeat what had happened in the living room moments earlier. Sated, they fell asleep in his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

At 5.30AM Abby woke up to her alarm. She counted herself lucky that her phone battery had not died overnight since charging it had pretty much been the last thing on her mind after the events and emotional roller coaster of the previous day. It felt weird waking up in David's apartment.

"Hey" she looked at David shyly.

"Hey" he answered.

She scampered to turn off the beeping phone and suddenly felt very self-conscious moving around their old apartment naked. Her hair had dried overnight and was a tangled mess so she pulled up her dress from the day before and went in the bathroom to try to untangle it at least a little bit before heading home to change. After a few minutes David appeared at the door of the bathroom. She smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

"So what happened last night Abby… can never happen again"

Abby stopped brushing her hair for a moment. She didn't understand him at all anymore. He had been asking her to leave all night yesterday, but once the walls had come down, his need for her and her need for him had been very obvious to them both. She still felt sore to prove it.

"Are you saying that you don't have feelings for me any more?" She looked at David in the eye, and he avoided her gaze.

"I don't want to be with you Abby" he said sadly, again avoiding her gaze.

"So last night, what we did… it means nothing to you?" the tears were threatening to spill again.

"Abby, what was between us is over"

"David. Something is wrong. I can see that something is wrong and I know that you have feelings for me. Please won't you just tell me what is wrong?" she was pleading him and his heart was breaking. He wanted nothing more than to ask her to stay forever. But she was his weakness. She was going to be his downfall if he let her. Cyrus and his buddies would forever have a puppet in him if she stayed in his life. He needed to distance himself from Abby. He needed to get Cyrus to think that he had no more feelings for Abby, so that she could be safe. He loved her too much to place her in danger by being with her.

"I don't know you at all any more David." The tears were falling freely now. He wanted to take her into his arms, but instead he turned away and forced himself to look at anything else than Abby.

"I don't want you to come here again Abby" he said. "Can you please give your key back, or I will have the locks changed today?"

David's last comment was like a punch to the stomach for her. She had come here out of concern for him last night. She could see that there was something that he was hiding. A dreadful secret. Yet he wouldn't budge and let her in.

"If that's what you want David, then…" she was unable to stop sobbing as she removed the apartment key from her key ring. She let it fall onto his nightstand from her hand, and with that she left without looking at him again.

For the next three months Abby made a conscious effort to avoid places and meetings in which she knew David would be present. David must have been doing the same thing, since their paths rarely seemed to cross nowadays. When they did see each other, they did not acknowledge each other unless they had to, and Abby felt sick to her stomach every time. More than once she ended up crying in the ladies room. David started dating a pretty White House secretary. Abby could not stand the girl, who seemed like a real airhead, but David kept sending her flowers and notes and the girl was clearly falling for him. Abby had difficulties holding her food down every time she saw flowers on the girl's desk.

One morning when Abby was pulling on an old dress that she had not worn for a long time, she noticed that it had gotten a bit tight. Thinking it must have shrunk at the cleaners she discarded of it and put on another dress. A week later she noticed that a pair of pants had gotten tighter as well when she put them on. Realization hit her like a sledgehammer in the head. She had not been feeling well for the past months and now her clothes were getting tight. She couldn't even remember when she had last had her period, but she had always been a bit irregular and she'd been so busy that she hadn't given it a second thought. She sat down and cried for a good 30min before walking to the corner shop where she bought a pregnancy test, although she already knew what the result was. She was pregnant with David's baby.


End file.
